Holy Cross Adopts Unconventional Housing Solution to Accommodate Record-Breaking Freshman Class

Worcester, MA – The College of the Holy Cross has found itself grappling with the consequences of an unexpected surge in admissions for the Class of 2026, leading to an unprecedented decision to address the housing crunch by offering students the option to live in “off-campus tent encampments” starting in 2025.

In a surprising move, the college admitted over 900 students to the incoming class, surpassing initial projections by 100 students. This over-admission has triggered a domino effect on various aspects of campus life, including inflated class sizes, stretched scholarship funds, and overburdened academic advisors.

One of the most significant repercussions has been the strain on housing resources. The College, already limited in available rooms, faces challenges in accommodating the expanding student population. As a result, sophomores are finding themselves extending their stay in freshman dorms, with typical sophomore housing at full capacity.

While the addition of the Townhouses has provided some relief, the fundamental issue persists. To address the growing demand for housing, Holy Cross is embarking on an unconventional approach. Beginning in 2025, students will have the option to choose “off-campus tent encampments” as their preferred housing for the following year.

According to the College’s announcement, these tent encampments will offer students a unique experience in a “rich community blooming with opportunities to interact with nature — both flora and fauna alike.” Housing options will range from fully-equipped quad tents to single sleeping bags, with significantly reduced room and board costs. Students in the encampment will also enjoy an exclusive dining plan featuring wild berries, nuts, and small game.

Brad Grylls, a sophomore at Holy Cross, expressed enthusiasm about the new housing option. “I can’t wait to spend my nights catching my dinner and go to bed looking up at the stars. It’s about time this place had housing options for people who don’t want to be confined somewhere with modern amenities.”

Even literary figure Ralph Waldo Emerson chimed in, expressing his support for the bold move. “This new direction for student housing will allow students to imitate the worst excesses of suburban youth culture while also creating an entire class of pseudo-intellectual justifications for capitalist propaganda. I, for one, can’t wait.”

The Holy Cross Administration has remained tight-lipped on the matter, leaving professors to provide insight. One history professor, speaking anonymously, responded to inquiries with bewilderment, stating, “What in the world are you talking about?”

This unconventional housing solution appears to serve a dual purpose for the College, addressing both the housing crisis and challenges with homeless communities living near campus. By acquiring the former homeless encampment, Holy Cross aims to provide students with a unique connection to nature while simultaneously gentrifying untamed wilderness.

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